I've learned a lot in this class. I want to give it the proper send-off and post my final paper for it.
Gay Promiscuity; A view on:
Who's Afraid of Polygamous Marriage?
by Cheshire Calhoun
In Cheshire Calhoun’s article, Who’s Afraid of Polygamous Marriage?, Calhoun tackles one of the issues brought up by gay marriage opponents that if we legalize gay marriage, the next item on the list will be polygamy. She argues that, at least academically, advocates of gay marriage should not be afraid to discuss the topic of polygamy, and maybe should question whether or not it’s advantageous to challenge the marriage bars on both same-sex marriage and polygamy. “The central issue raised by marriage bars is thus not whether the state should permit nonmonogamous and nonheterosexual marriages, but whether the state should support nonmonogamous and nonheterosexual marriages by assigning them the legal status of civil marriage.”
Calhoun brings up several very interesting and important points in her argument in comparing the 19th century pro-polygamy movement to today’s same-sex marriage movement. She also challenges the assumption of gender subordination in polygamy with examples of how the 19th century women in polygamous marriages had several more rights than women who were not, like the right to vote and own land. Her research and courage to bring these things to light are all things that I agree with completely as reasons why, academically, we shouldn’t be afraid to talk about polygamy in the gay marriage movement. But I feel that before this happens, advocates and members of the LGBTQ community need to talk about a larger argument that is commonly and closely associated to the immorality of polygamy; the argument that gays and lesbians are promiscuous and therefore immoral people undeserving of the status granted to heterosexual citizens when they marry.
When the AIDS epidemic swept America in the early 1980’s, it was first called GRID, Gay Related Immune Deficiency, because it was showing up mostly in gay men. Most people didn’t even care that there was this disease spreading among the homosexual male populous because they felt that those men were getting what they deserved. In June of 1982 the CDC, Center for Disease Control, released a report that “a group of cases amongst gay men in Southern California suggested that the disease might be caused by an infectious agent that was sexually transmitted.” It wasn’t until the disease started showing up in children and members of the heterosexual community that it became an issue that needed concern and recognition. Harold Jaffe of the CDC for Newsweek said, “When it began turning up in children and transfusion recipients, that was a turning point in terms of public perception. Up until then it was entirely a gay epidemic, and it was easy for the average person to say 'So what?' Now everyone could relate.” These are all comments and issues that the nation dealt with right at the onset of AIDS twenty years ago, but the logic used then can still be found in our society today.
When I came out to my grandfather, the first thing he asked me was that if when I found this out, was someone doing something to me – and if so, was this welcomed on my part or forced upon me. He assumed that I had already had sex. After I started dating my first boyfriend, my mom asked me if I needed condoms. She assumed I was already sleeping with him or that I would immediately want to start. Because I am a young 20 something, the older gay men that I know assume I am out every weekend at a club going home with a different man every night. If ever I want to donate blood, because I am an out and proud gay man – it is assumed that I have had penetrative sex with men and am therefore too risky a candidate. From those who know me the best to complete strangers – it is assumed because I am gay I have lots and lots of sex. This is not true. But that really shouldn’t matter, should it?
When it comes to fighting for our equal rights as citizens in this world, I believe that we must first look within. Within ourselves and within our community. Afterall, in order to change the world, you have to start with one person: yourself. I don’t know who said that, but it is something I firmly believe. I think before we tackle the bars on polygamous marriage, and even before we tackle the bars on same-sex marriage, we must first deal with some more personal issues.
Are you ready?
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